A Romantic Idea for Iron Stars

Space combat in an age of steam & steel
Blackronin
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Re: A Romantic Idea for Iron Stars

Postby Blackronin » Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:54 am

Thanks for compliment. I was trying to write it down with that Wells feeling of telling an odd story with that kind of journalistic truth of his writings. But it's difficult, as I'm a portuguese speaker and I'm writing directly in english, so it's more hard to look back at what I wrote and see it detached.

And yes. Soon, I'll put more. Lots of work in school. Little time for anything else, though I've played this evening (GMT) one scenario of Iron Stars with a friend that catch a terrible cold and could not leave home. And during that game something funny happened. I'll make a new thread about it next.

I already put the whole Venusian story (writen so far) in one complete text with "historical notes". When I finish it, if you want to read it, I can send it to you.
"Four-three by seventeen, Mr. Gordon. At my mark fire at the incoming little pest and then steam her up for another passage. This promises to be a long day..."

thedugan
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Re: A Romantic Idea for Iron Stars

Postby thedugan » Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:38 am

Sure, send it to me once you get it all down in a single narrative.

From the phraseology, I figured English was your second language, but it's not bad - I've seen native English speakers write LOTS worse...
:D (present company included)

We've got some ideas for Venus already, but nothing definite. Maybe we'll be able to incorporate some of your ideas - no promises, though. Matt's pretty good, and I think Dan's got some sort of over-arching concepts he'd like kept intact.
Becuz I'm da friggin' ART FAIRY - dats why!

Big Bang = Let there be LIGHT!

Blackronin
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The Journal of Lt-Captain Afonso Miranda Teles - Part 10

Postby Blackronin » Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:02 pm

From the diary of the Lt-Captain Afonso Miranda Teles, Captain of the Light Cruiser "Cidade de Lisboa" and Commander of the Venus Expedition:

November 14, 1911.
I decided we would go in the “Cidade de Lisboa” and not in an Ainduren zeppelin. It would remember the Karroom of our might and it would show us as a independent force that could mediate the meeting. We had to go down into the atmosphere five times until we were over the meeting site and we could descend into the ground. The air around us wailed and screamed and for the first time I liked it. I guess the Karroom were impressed with it. Into the meeting I chose twenty guards from the marine complement of the cruiser and myself, Sa’atia, Mr. Pessoa and the five women from the High Council. When we reached the place, a beautiful meseta, the Karroom were already there. I counted fifteen, a very acceptable number and a declaration of wish to parley. I must confess that I was impressed by their leader. It must be a very old Karroom, a big one, with a leathery skin and the lack of the right arm. Probably lost in a old battle against the Ainduren. As we get close to them, Sa’atia gave me her arm and I felt her trembling beside me. I could understand the difficulty of walking unarmed towards an eternal enemy. We stopped one hundred feet away from them and the leader and a very young – it seems – Karrom walked with him towards us. They walked slowly, as if it was difficult for the leader to move. They live under water, I remembered so this should be really difficult. The young Karroom had a pole in his right hand with one of those strange light they use and as they reached us he showed us his left hand opened. I smiled. There are common ground between us, I thought. I imitate him immediately and after that, Mr. Pessoa showed them a series of drawings that showed where we did come from. The leader kept his eyes on the drawings and on me. After some drawings were made between the younger Karroom and Mr. Pessoa, to clarify some points, the leader showed a drawing of himself. It was so beautifully draw that if was impossible to mistake the image from another. After that he showed a drawing of a wave and of a Karroom eating a Venusian eight-fins fish. Wave Eater, I said, that’s his name. He looked at me. I pointed to myself and said Afonso. And surprisingly he tried to imitate the sound of my name. Awfully, I suppose, but still I clap my hands and made the sign for yes that we already had accepted. He looked happy to be able to communicate with us. Then he showed us the terrible thing. Sa’atia started to cry and I had to stop seeing the drawing just to comfort her. In a succession of images we saw the arrival of Sa’atia ancestors to Venus by the eyes of the Karroom. As they arrived and settled, the Karroom went to them to initiate conversations. And then, they saw that the human settlement was over the birth lakes of the Karroom, and the humans were drying them out. As the Karroom went to their children rescue, the humans opened fire with the electric weapons they had. All the Karroom were killed. The humans built their city over the dried lakes and started harvesting wheat over the bodies of the Karroom babies. The everlasting war began that moment.
A terrible silence followed this revelation. Sa’atia talked with the rest of the High Council mentally. Mr. Pessoa and the young Karroom were drawing to each other and suddenly Mr. Pessoa laughed and we all looked at him and magically he patted the Karroom in the arm as if a good joke was said and the air around us lightened a bit. I, for myself, offered my looking spy glass to Wave Eater and explained him how it worked. He was moved by my gesture and so he called one of his aides. I received from his hands a very beautiful dagger made of a strange material that by drawings he explained me it was made with the tooth of a sea monster. When Sa’atia returned she draw an offer to the Karroom. The end of the war. The moving of the Ainduren city to another place in the continent. The remake of the lakes. And that the Ainduren would forever be the guardians of the nesting lakes of the Karroom. For some time, the Karroom leader was still as a statue. Then he moved near Sa’atia and touched her face with his old hand. Then he pointed at me. I understood. He wanted me to be the judge of this accord. I knew he is a soldier. I knew he would understand my actions. I stepped forward and I drew the dagger he offered me. I made a clean and deep cut in my hand and as the blood spilled from it, I offered him the dagger and my hand. He made the same and we shook hands. We stayed there for three days discussing the future. I sent the cruiser to give the news to our expedition and to the Ainduren and me, Sa’atia and Mr. Pessoa camped near the Karroom. That night embraced to Sa’atia I asked her if she wanted to be my guardian also. I already am, she replied. I will have an hard time to explain all this to the Portuguese Admiralty, but I am as happy as a man can be.


peace meeting.jpg
"Four-three by seventeen, Mr. Gordon. At my mark fire at the incoming little pest and then steam her up for another passage. This promises to be a long day..."

Blackronin
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Re: A Romantic Idea for Iron Stars

Postby Blackronin » Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:05 pm

As I said above, English is my second language, so it's probable that I incur in a lot of mistakes. If someone will be willing to send me a corrected version of my writings I would appreciate it very much.
"Four-three by seventeen, Mr. Gordon. At my mark fire at the incoming little pest and then steam her up for another passage. This promises to be a long day..."

Blackronin
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The Journal of Lt-Captain Afonso Miranda Teles - Part 11

Postby Blackronin » Sun Jan 18, 2009 3:15 pm

From the diary of the Lt-Captain Afonso Miranda Teles, Captain of the Light Cruiser "Cidade de Lisboa" and Commander of the Venus Expedition:

December 21, 1911.
Christmas is near, up there in earth. Here, the night is slowly coming. The day is getting greyish. The long night. The sailors are longing for home. Even those that found a lover amidst the Ainduren women. I told this to Sa’atia and she replied that all of us would have a nice surprise very soon. Although I asked several times she didn’t told me why. The works are going fast. The Ainduren are a very decided and focused people. After the first problems with moving out the city, they put their hands to work and the city is growing fast, five miles away from its original place. The first time the High Council announced this, the Ainduren women started a riot. I deployed the troops from all the ships and that worked out. But not because the women were facing troops or because the troops were armed. It worked because the women didn’t want to hurt men. Things are different in different worlds. When I understood this I couldn’t stop laughing. Some of my men were hurt in their feelings, but the warm treatment that women give them all, was enough to make them forget the humiliation.
The Karroom are helping the Ainduren engineers to remake the lakes. They are making strange pools and the worst of the bad feeling is dissipating. Not all though. The Karroom reported to me that they had some in-fighting with a faction that wants the complete obliteration of the humans. We have the same, but the scale is small. I myself have also an insurgence in some of my men. Yesterday Commander O'Dunagan had a meeting with me. The captains want to go home. All, except the Canadian freighter commander, Patrice Montreau, are with Commander O’Dunagan. I scheduled a meeting for tomorrow. This can be the end of my plans. Can’t you sleep, my teszh, Sa’atia asked me. Teszh means, the one for my heart, in the child language of the Ainduren. No, I answered, the night is long. Shhh, she replied, the night is sweet. You’ll see.
"Four-three by seventeen, Mr. Gordon. At my mark fire at the incoming little pest and then steam her up for another passage. This promises to be a long day..."

Blackronin
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The Journal of Lt-Captain Afonso Miranda Teles - Part 12

Postby Blackronin » Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:07 am

From the diary of the Lt-Captain Afonso Miranda Teles, Captain of the Light Cruiser "Cidade de Lisboa" and Commander of the Venus Expedition:

December 25, 1911.

It’s Christmas, and everybody is happy and sad at the same time. I gathered everyone from the expedition to lunch together and we traded presents. The night as come and as Sa’atia promised we had a surprise. The night is indeed sweet. All the vegetation here on Venus has a phosphorescent quality in it and everywhere you look there’s a fairy light that is most comforting. The sky is black, but the ground is yellowish and illuminated. I am calmer now that I had the meeting with the other captains. I decided to share my plan with them and surprisingly all accepted it with little hesitation. Commander O’Dunagan even offered himself to help me. I am a lucky man. Now it’s time to speak with the High Council and the Karroom. I hope to have the same luck with them as I had with my men. I invited wave Eater and the High Council to board “Cidade de Lisboa” and make a space travel. I’ll show them the Martian satellite and i start from there.
I told Sa’atia of my intention. She replied nothing about it. I know what she fears. She is scared of losing me. How will look like the sons and daughters of Earthers and Venusians? I wonder. Sa’atia is pregnant. As hundreds of Aindurens. The time we need to stay here will give me time to see my child if everything goes wrong. In six months, Mr. Sarakura told me with a terrible English accent, Mars and Venus will be at optimal distance. We must have everything ready. Sa’atia is sleeping. I’m going for my night walk. It is beautiful scenery and I can always find a Karroom to talk to. Mr. Pessoa invented a gestural language and everybody is learning it these days.
"Four-three by seventeen, Mr. Gordon. At my mark fire at the incoming little pest and then steam her up for another passage. This promises to be a long day..."

Blackronin
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The Journal of Lt-Captain Afonso Miranda Teles - Part 13

Postby Blackronin » Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:01 pm

From the diary of the Lt-Captain Afonso Miranda Teles, Captain of the Light Cruiser "Cidade de Lisboa" and Commander of the Venus Expedition:

January 03, 1912.

The first design of a Venusian Ether Ship is done. With several Karroom and Ainduren engineers helping Mr. Sarakura I think the heavy works will start in less than ten days. The technical staff is strangely more capable of handling the social and racial differences between us all. Mr. Sakamura is more alien to me than some of the Karroom, so that must be why they coexist so well together. The rest of us are having more problems with the new co-existence between all of us. Some Ainduren women were caught trying to poison some of the Karroom lakes. Happily Sa’atia had anticipated these kind of problems and we had guards there. On the other side wave Eater told me that the Karroom military tried to grab the reins of power.
The fleet wants to go home, but the men are divided. How will I handle this? I need them. I will need them very soon. We are testing the electrical weapon the Ainduren invented. We will try to use it in the ether ships in the next weeks. Commander O’Dunagan asked me if I wasn’t scared that the weapons we were giving to the Venusian could be used against Earth. I told him that now I was more assured that the weapons from Earth would have more difficulty being used against the Venusian. Commander O’Dunagan nodded as if he confirmed something he already suspected. Do you find me a traitor, Commander? I asked him. He smiled. You aren’t a traitor, captain, but you’ll have a hard time convincing the brass back on Earth. And he left.
"Four-three by seventeen, Mr. Gordon. At my mark fire at the incoming little pest and then steam her up for another passage. This promises to be a long day..."

CPTCole
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Re: A Romantic Idea for Iron Stars

Postby CPTCole » Fri May 15, 2009 10:53 pm

I have really liked the story so far. Do you intend to continue?

I loved the art. I loved the ships. I would like to see more if you have the time. If you have a chance maybe you could make up some scenarios to go with your slice of the timeline.

Blackronin
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Re: A Romantic Idea for Iron Stars

Postby Blackronin » Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:14 pm

Hi:

I didn't decide stop writing things up. I had an accident and with recovery and work I didn't had time or mood for it. I'll be back shortly with more.
"Four-three by seventeen, Mr. Gordon. At my mark fire at the incoming little pest and then steam her up for another passage. This promises to be a long day..."

thedugan
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Re: A Romantic Idea for Iron Stars

Postby thedugan » Thu Jul 02, 2009 5:10 pm

Sorry to hear that, don't short-circuit your recovery for this stuff. It's good, but it's not worth your health.
Becuz I'm da friggin' ART FAIRY - dats why!

Big Bang = Let there be LIGHT!


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